Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
So much Jack, so little girl.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Randomize
