I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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