Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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