she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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