So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Randomize
