I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
