do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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