That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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