okay pat passed out under dana's car
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
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