I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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