just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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