pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
