last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
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the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
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We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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