PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
