Me too!
If that was your dad, he is hot
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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