just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize