The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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