i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
