I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
