thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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