and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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