And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
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