looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
