was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
