Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize