Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize