Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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