you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
We left an ass print on the piano.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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