I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
