I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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