You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Randomize
