To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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