I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
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