hotel room ftw
So drunk its hurt
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
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