Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
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do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
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They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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