I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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