i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
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