i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
