how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
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