I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
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