i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
