planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
