I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
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Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
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I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
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