Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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