im drinking this country out of the recession.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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