Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
