Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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