If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
