Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
