i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
wow bdsm is so cute
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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