Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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