He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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