I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
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