u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
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