i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize