In the future we'll all be gay
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
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