Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
ttyl tear gas
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Randomize
