if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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