Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Randomize
