i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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