my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Randomize
