Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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