my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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