Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
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You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
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Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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